I've got to help out for Dad tomorrow, but I can't get to sleep.
Prolly due to waking up only at 3pm this afternoon..

Insomnia is NEVER a problem to me whenever Bf is around.
BUT,
he went out with his friends not long ago.

And the thought of him enjoying his time away with his friends right now makes me feel so unhappy & uneasy.
I don't know why..

Im worried that..

- he's gonna smoke
- he's gonna speak vulgarities
- he's gonna flirt around
- he's gonna return home only in the morning
- he's gonna do dangerous stuffs (like being a pillion on a bike)
- he's gonna neglect me (not contacting me until I do so)

You would hv say that it's all abt 1 word, trust, & I should hv trusted him.
But, that was so, VERY, EXTREMELY long ago.

Bcox when time flies, most of the things change.
And then, you'll gradually realise that the amount of freedom he has plays the most important role for the change in him.

I just merely wanted him to be 24/7 by my side.
But I know Im being way too selfish.

However, one thing I know for sure is,
I'll never sacrifice my time I have with Bf for other reasons.
(definately excluding school & other important stuffs)

He did mention to stay after I pulled a long face just to make me happy.
But, I told him to leave bcox I wanted him to be happy either.

So, is this like what everybody's saying, giving & taking ???
One has to sacrifice ???

I never had surprises from him.
Neither did I ever recieve late-night supper from him when I complained I was hungry.
Distance is not a problem. It's the thought & sincerity that matter me most.

I may seem strong bcox I always rejected the offers.
And I did that bcox those actions made were only after I've complained.

Whatever it is, I'm a woman afterall.
A simple woman who just always wanted to be filled with sincerity & love.
Am I asking too much ???